The past several months have gone by so quickly. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown. I am pretty happy of the woman I am today. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve grown to become more independent in my decisions. I’ve experienced so much in the past several months than what I have in the past year and a half. New job, new and better friends that have grown to become closer to me than I had ever imagined. I began dancing again with my dance group too. I’m finally singing to my hearts content. Isn’t that the way it should be? Shouldn’t I finally be happy again? Yes. I deserve it. I deserve all the happiness I get from now on. My life is exceeding awesomeness… I’m beyond happy. I almost forgot how that felt. Here’s to my future, here’s to my future happiness, here’s to my future Mr. Right…. i deserve the best and nothing but the best. If you can’t cant handle me at my worst you certainly don’t deserve me at my best. ^_^ peace world till tomorrow….

lianneb:

I expect so much because I would do that much for you.

So true.

…..”don’t make someone your priority when you are only their option”

I use to think everything was exactly the way it was suppose to be. But as I stood and watched my world fall apart around me. I realized that all I truly have is myself at the end of the day. No matter who you rely on, you, yourself is it. So much has happened this year. I don’t know how much I can take. Lately life hasn’t been much on my team for the past year. I think I’m a good person. I don’t deserve this. It hurts seeing your life move so much quicker than mine when I’m not in it. You’ll make it out there just fine without me. But I don’t know how much I can take. A person can only tale emotional beatings for so long. After that there’s just and empty soulless body. It’s scary when you start to get numb and don’t feel much of if anymore…. I miss smiling because of him. I miss the feeling of being wanted and needed. I want to be special again, not hated, ignored, or ashamed of. I hope one day I can be appreciated for who I am again.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy From the Movie “Cocktails” Performed by Bobby McFerrin

Here is a little song I wrote You might want to sing it note for note Don’t worry be happy In every life we have some trouble When you worry you make it double Don’t worry, be happy……

Ain’t got no place to lay your head Somebody came and took your bed Don’t worry, be happy The land lord say your rent is late He may have to litigate Don’t worry, be happy Lood at me I am happy Don’t worry, be happy Here I give you my phone number When you worry call me I make you happy Don’t worry, be happy Ain’t got no cash, ain’t got no style Ain’t got not girl to make you smile But don’t worry be happy Cause when you worry Your face will frown And that will bring everybody down So don’t worry, be happy (now)…..

There is this little song I wrote I hope you learn it note for note Like good little children Don’t worry, be happy Listen to what I say In your life expect some trouble But when you worry You make it double Don’t worry, be happy…… Don’t worry don’t do it, be happy Put a smile on your face Don’t bring everybody down like this Don’t worry, it will soon past Whatever it is Don’t worry, be happy

For the past week and half. Almost every night I end up throwing up the food I ate. Not being I’m forcing myself but I cough and cough to the point where I gag. I’m not sure if it’s bc of my recent stress. Or if it’s b I’m getting sick idk. I need answers.

I miss him so much. Why did this happen to us?

No matter how many times I tell myself I’m strong enough, no matter how many times I try to keep this shield up, all the bs and crap I see hurts me so much even more. I’ve done nothing to deserve any of this. Not from them especially. I’ve been nothing but a good person to them and that’s what I get when something happens? I wanted things to somewhat be on good terms. Am I not a good person? Do I bot deserve good friends? Why don’t people grow up! It just shows how immature and inconsiderate these people are. Calling me leaving me msgs on a blocked number. Embarrassing me? Just shows what kinds of friend they are to me. I’ll never understand why they feed off of drama and the weakness of others. Grow up, get a life! The world is a lot bigger than the stupid murky pond you feed in. This is it… I’m out from that bs I don’t have to pretend to like any of you anymore if that’s the shit I get. Thanks.

I’m always waiting… Tick tock :(