20 11 / 2010
It hurts so much
I use to think everything was exactly the way it was suppose to be. But as I stood and watched my world fall apart around me. I realized that all I truly have is myself at the end of the day. No matter who you rely on, you, yourself is it. So much has happened this year. I don’t know how much I can take. Lately life hasn’t been much on my team for the past year. I think I’m a good person. I don’t deserve this. It hurts seeing your life move so much quicker than mine when I’m not in it. You’ll make it out there just fine without me. But I don’t know how much I can take. A person can only tale emotional beatings for so long. After that there’s just and empty soulless body. It’s scary when you start to get numb and don’t feel much of if anymore…. I miss smiling because of him. I miss the feeling of being wanted and needed. I want to be special again, not hated, ignored, or ashamed of. I hope one day I can be appreciated for who I am again.
